Try this comment I found and inquired about yesterday, username removed:ĭamn right. Even more so around strangers where we're afraid of appearing vulnerable. I think men and women in general have a harder time relating to one another and having real conversations because we imagine this gender divide is bigger than it really is. They are so deprived of real conversations with men it's unbelievable. That is, shut off your desperation glands, shut off the polite conversation and talk to them as your equal. One that you aren't desperate to sleep with. What I interpret this to mean is: talk to her as if she was a friend. He's speaking to men who tend to put women on a pedestal and worship their looks so he's deliberately putting down women to make these men realize that they don't need to worship at a girl's feet to attract her.ĭo your absolute best to talk to her like she's one of your dumbest friends It's just that he has a tactless way of articulating it. I think the guy's basic idea is to talk to women like any other human being. Let's go to the bar", which is generally more closed and abrupt (and hence off-putting) than many women would express in similar circumstances. It was terribly phrased, but it's worth emphasising that if a lot of guys were talking to another male friend, instead of being emotionally open and showing vulnerability they'd say something more like "Got fired. less intelligent male friends in the past, and I'll admit on occasion I found myself speaking more openly to them than other friends because I was less concerned about them judging me and knew they wouldn't pick up as well on understated hints. Instead we tend to hint at and understate things so we don't have to look "weak" or "needy" by fully acknowledging them (and likewise, so we don't potentially make the male friend we're talking to feel uncomfortable with overt displays of emotion).īy "talk to her like she's your dumbest friend" I assumed he meant "speak plainly, and don't hedge around the issue or underplay it in the assumption she'll necessarily understand the depth of your feelings". There's still a certain "man code" where many of us guys find it hard to talk about feelings in a plain and straightforward way. I think he could have said, "talk like she is one of your male friends,"įWIW, many "male friends" don't speak plainly to each other, especially about personal or emotional issues. Instead of talking to women like they are magical beings or targets for complex pick-up lines, just talk to them as if they are -big shocker- people.Īs a guy, I agree with your comment. While his wording was a bit crass, and I would have used the word "normal" instead of "dumb", and it's a good tactic. I personally believe that all methods other than the use of force are perfectly acceptable in the pursuit of any goal, so I see nothing wrong with his method, and I'm glad he's shared it. If you accept that it is legitimate to desire for something to happen, the only debate left is what methods are acceptable. Becoming a pickup artist can be a way of making people attracted to you as opposed to other suitors. Becoming a good dancer can be a way of manipulating people to enjoy dancing with you as opposed to with other dancers. Either you make it happen deliberately, or you wait for it.Īll interactions between people involve some form of manipulation. That would be an accurate description of any goal. So the only way to get laid is to either manipulate people or to happen upon it by accident?
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